


The [Redacted] Parable

by Monosha



Category: Portal (Video Game), The Stanley Parable
Genre: AU- Canon Divergence, Chell had enough with everything, Crossover, F/M, GLaDOS wants to watch the "world" burn, Is Stanley dying consistently in the Parable (and Wheatley) count?, M/M, Portal and The Stanley Parable are in the same goddang building (theory), Rated E for Everything that's wrong in the world, Stanley is a confused mess, The Narrator knows stuff, Wheatley is not helping (and being a terrible matchmaker)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-10 11:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monosha/pseuds/Monosha
Summary: Everything would never be the same once you look under the surface.





	1. The Broom Closet "Ending"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something isn't right...
> 
> It's by chance we know, right?  
> Is it the shift in the air, or does it seem a bit brighter in here?
> 
> But, I think that we can settle with one thing.  
> One more day to tell him, loud and clear; That we are here. Alive and well.
> 
> LETS GET THAT BROOM CLOSET ENDING, STANLEY!!!
> 
>  
> 
> ...Fine...Go ahead.  
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"-The multi-dimensional paths that happened to open up to Stanley would be so mind boggling amazing that he would have no chance to brace himself; As Stanley's head violently combusted. Covering the closet's walls with his blood, and Stanley's headless corpse slumped on the wall. Just the mere thought of the endless choices he could decide for himself, was enough to meet his seemingly embarrassing demise. If that was possible, Stanley would bid farewell to his beloved job of button pressing for good; Oh, how the straws run short for Stanley..."_

The ever-so-faint buzzing of the led light was the only thing that continued on, for now the looming distraction of this voice ran dry. It was strange, but comforting to my mind; Much to the fact as I'm sitting on the concrete floor for an hour was...something.

I now come to the creeping suspicion that it doesn't want me in here, in the slightest. If this is how I want to spend the entirety of my morning here, that'll be fine. I'm not complaining, but it's just...odd.

As if was any normal day, and not having my coworkers _disappearing_ inexplicably; I would've gone over and have a friendly chat with the floor's janitor, Alfred.

Oh, the many conversations we had...About how great our jobs were, the simple but thought-provoking decor, our lives in the loving care of our families back at home, and even the employees lounge (which Alfred told me the time that when the company wasn't opened, he designed the layout himself.)

I always find myself coming right to the magnificent room; The conversations always in mind.

Now I'm invading his space, right beside a rather stagnant cleaning bucket too...Gross.

  ~~ _\--No...We can't let "him" get the satisfaction.--_~~

It's for the best.

Then, the voice was back; _"Stanley would surely know how hilarious the grand scheme of things were inside the space; As if violently thinking of the idea of his head spontanious combustion, he could have a hoot with his coworkers once their disappearances were solved for. Sure, they may find the grim joke rather twistedly morrbid, and like any sane or sensible human would do; Would send Stanley to the loon bin at any given chance. Of course, subjugated to years of isolation was no problem to him; Much like another day at work despite the lack of buttons to push. At least, Stanley would have the last laugh, and eventually his slow agonizing death would be well worth it..."_

That doesn't sound right, not at all...But, I think I know one way to solve this; I can just ignore it. 

It's just a strange voice following me around, or maybe it could be one of my coworkers?

  ~~ _\--He's far more than that. The liar--_~~

Sure, if they wanted to pull a prank on me they would do a lot of effort to get me out of my office...Also with the determination to pose as an disembodied voice too, props on them.

It would justify the reason for me to punch on of them, right?

  ~~ _\--There's no use. We'll just get lost--_~~

Still, I didn't care too much anyways. The funniest jokes are from the unfortunate of events, though I won't be laughing even after the fact. 

_"Stanley, I don't know why you would settle with sitting here; There's absolutely nothing to do, I already told you that. I thought up those gruesome monologues for a reason, I'd made this story for a reason, Stanley."_

Oh no, the voice's getting angry, and I'm in the center of it all with this "story" it got in stores. It's thoughtful in a weird way, but how am I suppose to ignore _that_!? 

_"Stanley wonders if he would ever feel justified to run these precious hours through the dirt, and not doing anything to progress the story what so ever...If there could be anything that I can do to get you out of that broom closet, I can do more things besides insulting you, Stanley."_

Immediately I was ecstatic, a smile that I'm never comfortable with broke through. _"Wh--What are y-...Stanley...Why are you smiling? You're smiling, right? Wh-Do you actually want me to... No, you can't be serious." ~~\--If it's what I'm thinking...Please don't go nsfw, I swear to fucking god--~~_

No matter how vague it's disbelieve was, I waited; Carefully tapping my foot on the concrete, and maybe stare at the the ceiling for a bit. If I can find where it is exactly, that can be a victory in my book. ~~_\--Not for me, God dammit!--_~~

_"-Why? What do you want, Stanley? If you're really willing to throw your life to unimaginable pain and suffer...or you're just-- You're testing me, Stanley? I-...How can I know that from you!? Just wait however long you want until I end your life, or worst? I can bring back everything I'd said, you know; I can make you feel how spontaneous combustion is like, over and over, Stanley."  _

Not that I'd want to know _. ~~\--Of fucking course you don't--~~  _I mean, how can it be possible for that to even happen? If this was a chance that it was gonna kill me, it definitely would've done so the moment I'd stepped in here...But, still--  ~~_\--Oh god no...That's it, we screwed up. We brought in a idiot!--_~~

 _"-Damn it, Stanley. If you're that oblivious to the situation right now, like this is an entire plot against you, I really would've killed you; But no! I'm not gonna give you that kind of mercy for your stupidity, not now..."_ The voice harshly hissed, but that didn't stop my realization to hit in a second.

"Are you a mind reader?" My voice rippled through the cut-throat insult from it...him? Though I generally don't like to talk that often, the occasional greetings and possible input on meetings were fine enough; But, this was amazing. _~~\--I'm fucking done.--~~_

 _"... Yes."_ He eventually stifled an answer,  _"Alright, no more distractions...Let me clear this out for you, get this through your skull for once Stanley...I can k-"_

 The literal ice breaker of this "conversation" was something hitting the wall, and definitely not a bird hitting a window. _"Or anything else alive at this point."_ He quickly added.

But another crash confirmed some kind of suspicion, and the fear coursing through the space. _"That's why I want you out of there. Just--Brace yourself, Stanley."_


	2. The Tomb of...What the hell!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK, WHAT THE FUCK'S HAPPENING!?
> 
> That's what i was trying to figure out, idiot! I've been trying to keep Stanley from getting fucking killed! 
> 
> But, nothing happens in there...It's only for spite.
> 
> Well, guess what!? The psychopath caught up on the bullshit! How did you guys not even know that!?
> 
> -We were busy! 
> 
> Now all of you go ahead, try to fix this piece of shit. C'mon it's easy to remember, same minds think alike after all!
> 
> Fuck you.
> 
> Hey, I'm being nice...I can take back that mini fridge, hm?
> 
>  Yet again, fuck you.
> 
> Jesus guys. I know it's tough as hell, but grow up! We're just lucky enough to be standing here, isn't that enough?
> 
>  No. Not at all.
> 
> This is gonna be a long day...  
> \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he was telling me to brace myself, he wasn't kidding at _all_.  
The abruption being only temporary was quickly smothered seconds before as it happened again, and again; The chipping, and scattered dust quickly turned to a crude hole busted in...wherever. Something to possibly beat my thundering heart pounding in my chest, thought that is a horrible thing to think about now.

Then, the unusual happened in a bright blue light filtering through the head-shaped hole in said wall. "Oh, 'ello!" A rather cheery british voice broke through the obvious silence, the blue "eye" darting nervously around the a small space; Almost immediately, it landed it's sight right on me.   
"I-I wasn't quite sure if there was anyone here...So one thing, just one itty bitty question here. alright? You're human, right?"

 ~~ _\--We're not sure--_ ~~ I was somewhat literally lost for words, and that I'd took chance to speak up to him already. But this was _so_ different.  
Of course, who would want to talk to a weird metal ball that so happen to emerge from _inside the walls! C_ ommon sense can be that nothing that I don't like isn't real.    ~~_That's what the presentation pretty much said, not matter how hilarious that was._~~

I should follow the rules...But there isn't anyone ~~_besides him_~~  to dictate those rules either way--But, the ball now suddenly started talking, rather rambunctiously.  
"Not that you have to answer  _that_ kind of thing, right? It's ridiculous! I can just ask 'Say apple', but I KNOW what happened to the last human! If you're not gonna say anything, I can't just say straight away that you're brain-damaged...Not that you are, since you're...awake. But, it's not that you'll be interested in a brain-damaged lady like that, right?"

 ~~ _\--We already have one--_~~   There's a woman-- _"The thought of another possibly attractive female in the office vandalized Stanley's mind; But, he already knows that he already have a loving wife--The concept of a divorce would weigh heavily on Stanley's shoulders. And should not listen to anything the metal soccer ball has to say, leaving the broom closet would be the logical route in his mind."_

I have a wife? 

 _" Yes. Just go with it, Stanley."_ He muttered, briefly taking the metal ball a few seconds to process the insult through swinted blinds.

Then, with a audible scrap of plates and sparks flying off, it finally hit the poor sap. "Whoa, whoa whoa!--A soccer ball!? You _bloody_ \- How could _you_! I dare you, try to say that in front of my face! If I'm not the wonderfully genius Wheatl--"

_"Stanley made the mere action of staring at a wall agonizing as humanly possible, and while the opportunity is still there for the taking, he stepped out of the broom closet. Immediately."_

With the cold sweat, and a horrible headache...Sure, whatever you say. _"Thank you."_

The closet door slammed shut right behind me, and feeling my hearts just jump as it narrowly avoided hitting me on the way out. Not to be metaphorical at all.

A quiet "sorry" from him shortly after dealt with the churning anger inside, for now.

Not even behind an office wall wasn't enough to extinguish it's loud, grating voice; "You know what--Good plan, excellent plan! You can stay there, and I'll find a way...in getting you out of this mess! Brilliant! See ya' soon, with the lady too!"  
~~_\--Shut up--_~~

There was nothing to even waste my time, so I head straight to the door right around the corner.

Without a sense of defined clarity in my mind, the same door clicked shut; The silence was almost too magnificent. So the proper action I could think of was to crumble to the floor.

Yeah, that sounds great.

Letting my body ceremoniously slid down against the very door, heaving a deserved sigh right as the soles of my shoes hit the cold concrete.

 _"...Stanley, are you alright?"_ His voice waned, only now I barely had the mental strength to give an actual answer.

Thanks to this mind-reading thing, he got the hint. _"A couple minutes would be fine to process...that. I'm sorry, I didn't expect something to happen with you doing nothing; Never thought your "choice" would come to a disaster, not that it was already detrimental to begin with. Just--Try not to think too much about what happened, Stanley. But, that thing wasn't enough to stop what's important here, the story..." _

Even with the faltered vigor, this overpowering excitement for this story; I just couldn't relate...not without this gnawing dread. Escape.  _ ~~Actually escaping from this hellhole, for real!~~_

 ~~~~It just feels too good to be true...But, I doubt that I would go anywhere with a weird ball and a mystery woman; Besides the hole in the closet, it's not that possible.

 _"-That reminds me."_ The voice suddenly piped up, _"Stanley, I have something very important that I need to do. Still, I don't want to repeat myself again to not fry your brain; I won't be surprised if you manage to do so in...How about four minutes? That sounds about right, I'm sure of it."_  
That's good. 

 _"Then, it's settled. I won't be gone for long now. And so you can understand, you can't do anything without me, Stanley."_ Despite the clear indication of the voice's simple request, it somehow felt off that he believes that I can't do anything I want without h _-_

_"-Stanley was left to second guess about the utmost severity of this situation that had happened just moments before. He remembers vaguely about the safety precautions needed if such a dilemma arises; Only if a certain someone would take action, to neutralize a "horrendous" accident soon to come through that hole on the wall. Or maybe the universe decided to take a good hard look at Stanley's stupid face, and to actually tell him a point to this madness; Preventing the fabric of space-time from collapsing, to heighten Stanley's abysmal carpetery skills, or just to keep him safe? Who knows."_

_"'A safe business equals safe work.' Stanley thought. 'After all, even if my coworkers had inexplicably disappeared, I have to take action. I think the janitor wouldn't mind about his closet being out of commision for indefinite amount of time.' Finding a hammer, flimsy boards, and stray nails littered around Stanley, he took a hold of them and got right to work in the previous hall."_

 Much to his - ~~ _-_~~ ~~ _unnecessary--_~~ descriptive spew of why I should fix the broom closet, I stood up and tried to open the door to the hall previously mentioned.

It won't budge, the handle jiggling uselessly in my grip. 

_"Not now, Stanley. This is what "you" need to do right now, and I'm not going to take chances to let you get off track; Time doesn't grow on trees, you know?  ~~\--Oh my god...--~~ So take these precious minutes with a pinch of salt.  Shut up, sit down, and listen to some tunes, Stanley. You'll be thanking me, surely."_

 

_"Four minutes starting...now."_

 

So then it begins. The steady surge of classical music, and the overpowering noise of a hammer on wood ring out in a matter of seconds. 

Under his instruction, I slide right back down to the hard floor below with a straying grimace on my face...or what I think was a grimace. "This is gonna be a _long_ day."


End file.
